‘My face took the impact and I bit my tongue clean in half’: brave rider returns from horrifying fall to win dressage debut

February 10, 2020

A rider who sustained extensive injuries in a fall just five months ago has returned to competition with victory in her first affiliated dressage test.

Nicola King-Salter was competing at a British Showjumping event in May with her nine-year-old Lauriston mare Lilly Langtrey when a misjudged jump near the end of the British novice course ended in disaster.

“My face took all the impact and I bit my tongue clean in half,” said Nicola, who suffered a partial ‘de-gloving’ of her lower face, as well as fracturing her neck, back and six ribs, and puncturing a lung.

“We didn’t realise how bad my injuries were — I got up and walked to the ambulance. But when I got to the local hospital they took one look at me and said it was a lot worse than we thought.”

Nicola, 48, spent a week in the major trauma unit at Stoke Hospital, praising the care she received there.

“I had to wear a neck brace for six weeks — even in the shower! But I remained quite chipper throughout,” she told H&H.

“I had a full facial tear; the lower half of my face was de-gloved and my lip was torn down to my chin. My tongue had to be stitched back together, but unfortunately my facial injuries have not healed correctly,” added Nicola, who will undergo further surgery next week, as she is still having trouble eating, drinking and speaking.

But on 12 September, Nicola made her return to the ring, winning a prelim at Radfords Equestian, Shropshire, on her British Dressage (BD) debut with Lilly, who was uninjured in the accident.

“Never in a million years did I think this would happen,” said Nicola. “After the accident, my trainer Sarah Warner suggested that I join BD. Dressage has always been my weakest phase and I was very intimidated by the whole thing.

“But through Sarah I met Georgie Hodson, who also suffered a terrible facial injury while eventing nine years ago. That was a wonderful thing to come out of the accident, and she has really helped me — having a facial injury like this is quite unusual and a very personal thing.

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“After the fall, I considered giving up, but only for one minute. I have to put what happened down to bad luck, although it’s the sort of thing you never think will happen to you.

“My husband Henry has been so supportive — we both work for the local police force, but I needed 24-hour care when I first came home from hospital. The only thing he has said is that I need to wear a body protector and air jacket while riding,” added Nicola, who is now looking forward to eventing next season and continuing with dressage following her surgery.

For all the latest news analysis, competition reports, interviews, features and much more, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, on sale every Thursday.

‘No nipples or suspenders!’: brave ladies and men bare all for hospice

A group of riders from a Scottish livery yard have become “Calendar Girls” to raise money for a local hospice.

The mostly middle-aged equestrians from Tannoch Stables near Cumbernauld have rallied the local community to support the project, which has already raised more than £4,000 to date.

“We’ve never seen a fundraising calendar made up here before, and as we are a group of ladies — and a couple of men — mostly more mature in years, we wanted to do something a bit different to grab people’s interest,” said Annette MacDonald, who was the calendar’s Miss January. “There is no nipples or suspenders, it’s all very discreet and tasteful!”

The idea for a fundraiser came from livery Claire McColl, who lost her mum to cancer and had always wanted to give back to Strathcarron Hospice, where she was cared for.

“They provided the most beautiful and tender palliative care. They support everyone within the Lanarkshire region who is dying, if they choose to end their lives in a hospice, and it’s a truly beautiful place and very well known,” Annette said.

“There’s more than 60 horses at Tannoch and the owner has had the yard for nearly 30 years, so there is always some kind of activity going on to support one charity or the other and plenty of people willing to join in.”

Professional photographer Fiona Brims provided her time free for the season-themed shoots, as did trainee make-up artists from the local college.

“We had no idea if it would be a success or not, so we contacted local companies to see if they would sponsor a page for £100 and they did, which we thought was good news as they put their money in not knowing whether their promotional piece would even be seen,” Annette said.

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“Since then we’ve already been back to the printers several times to ask if more calendars could be made. We’ve even had the local Asda and Tesco say we can set up stalls to sell them.”

The seasonal themes included a snow queen for January, skeleton horse and handler for October and a cheeky jester “who looks like he’s having his nether regions nibbled off by a horse but it is actually carrots!” for April.

The calendars are on sale for £10, with an official pre-Christmas launch taking place at the yard on November 2. They can also be bought by deposit £10 against sort code 804671 and account  11171164 (Claire Mccoll and Louise Day).  Email postal details to pipsylass@yahoo.co.uk.  All contributions go direct to Strathcarron Hospice.

For all the latest news analysis, competition reports, interviews, features and much more, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, on sale every Thursday.

‘Naughtiest pony on the circuit’ aims for HOYS

A young rider who rides the “naughtiest pony on the circuit” is hoping to sit out the bucks to qualify for the top shows this summer.

Isabel Fortune Davies came seventh in the grand prix at the Pony of the Year Show (POYS) last weekend, on her 128cm Innovation IV (Boot), whom her mother Alison Rebecca de Roeck described as “an absolute pig”, having sat it out as he tried to buck her off in the first round.

“He’s bucked her off at every showground in the country – but we still love him,” Alison told H&H. “We’ve had him since she was six – and he’s taught her to ride, put it that way!”

Alison said she had “absolutely no idea what he was like” when she bought the American saddlebred pony.

“So it was a bit of a shock the first morning I turned him out and he unceremoniously dragged me everywhere,” she added.

“He was our first 12.2hh and I thought ‘this can’t be happening, he is only 12.2hh. I’ve learned since.”

Alison said the family then enjoyed a “honeymoon period”, when Boot did not put a foot wrong, then at Isabel’s first British Showjumping show, things changed, when the pony planted in the ring.

“Whenever Isabel goes into the ring now, I say to her: ‘Brace’,” Alison said. “We were at England team training and the trainer said: ‘What sort of instruction is that to give a child?’ I thought: ‘I hope you never find out’!

“He jumps like a stag; he’ll jump 1.20m no problem, it’s the bits in between. He’ll stop dead, then buck and buck – he goes vertical.”

Alison said everything possible has been checked, including Boot’s back, saddle, teeth and even his hormones, to check there is no physical root to his issues.

“It can happen anywhere,” she said. “At POYS, he jumped a line, slammed the brakes on and bucked, and she had to turn from nothing to the next fence. Even the commentator said it was quick thinking and well ridden.

“Everyone was rooting for her; everyone loves a rogue, and his fan club was screaming for him.

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“I’ve always said that if she doesn’t want to ride him, she doesn’t have to but she’s a tough cookie and it just makes her more determined.”

Alison said Boot has also taken her older, nervous, daughter round at 40cm, and “looks after her up to a point – he’s only bucked her off once”, and that he and Isabel will be touring the circuit of Horse of the Year Show and Olympic qualifiers this summer.

“He’s a little star,” she said.

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‘My scones are better-known than me’ — 11 things you might not know about showing producer Jerome Harforth and the Stanley Grange show team

Jerome Harforth and Up With The Lark.

In this week’s showing special, H&H visits producer, breeder, judge and all-round show ring legend Jerome Harforth and his team at the Stanley Grange Stud in the picturesque North Yorkshire countryside.

Founded in 1975, the Stanley Grange prefix has produced a multitude of show ring champions which have won titles at all major championship shows.

Turn to page 28 of the 28 March 2019 issue for a full behind-the-scenes look at the Stanley Grange stud, but in the meantime, here are a few things you might not know about Jerome and the team:

1. Jerome got his first pony aged two. On Christmas morning, Jerome was taken out to the cow byre by his uncle Arthur and on the end of a line of 11 cows was a little black pony, which had come from the local riding school.

2. His first show pony was grey 14.2hh called Pinchinthorpe Midnight. After a couple of successful seasons, the pony injured his knee so was retired from the show ring and began a dressage career. They competed at the riding club championships at Stoneleigh together. Jerome competed up to medium level in the dressage arena.

3. Jerome is a keen baker. It is customary for anyone who visits Stanley Grange to have one of Jerome’s famous scones.

4. The first pony the team qualified for the in-hand final at Horse of the Year Show (HOYS) was Sally Coles’ Connemara mare Ballydonagh Misterina. She was placed third at the final (then the Lloyds final) and holds the equal record for the highest placed of her breed to date. The Stanley Grange show team has since taken dozens of ponies to the final both in-hand and under saddle, winning on several occasions.

5. The last time they won the Cuddy in-hand championship was in 2018 with Mark Buckley’s broodmare Crafton Blithe Spirit. Jerome led this grey broodmare to victory who was shown with her foal at foot.

6. Jerome last rode in the ring at Ponies UK spring show (held at Gleneagles) where he took the ride on the coloured Merrigan in the supreme.  Usual jockey Simon Charlesworth was due to ride a novice. Jerome had to borrow some boots and a jacket for the occasion.

7. Stanley Grange is often dubbed the ‘groom’s academy’ on the show circuit, as several successful showing stock — including Simon Charlesworth, Ian Boylan, Lucinda Elliott, Craig Elenor and James Crockford — have began their careers there.

8. Jerome has judged all over the world at shows including Melbourne Royal, South Africa HOYS and the National Pony and Hunter show in Australia.

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9. Despite having 10 resident stallions at present — of all types and sizes — stud manager David Dixon says that eventing sire Up With The Lark rules the roost.

10. Current show horse rider Myles Cooper, 18, got his first HOYS championship with a Stanley Grange-produced pony in 2009 with the first ridden Cosford Chartreasuse. 10 years later in 2019 and Myles continues to ride for Jerome in the horse ranks.

11. David, who is the current chairman of SHB (GB), also breeds and shows dogs and was placed second at Crufts last year with a Lakeland terrier.

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‘Oh look, there’s a piebald car’ — and 12 other thoughts riders have while driving

Life’ a daily struggle for riders — sometimes it just doesn’t feel like everyone else on the road is speaking our language…

1. Oh look, there’s a piebald car. Yes, I genuinely had this thought last week when I spotted a car which had one dark panel while the rest of it was white.

2. That car’s numberplate is WHP — I wonder if there’s a working hunter pony on board?

3. Why are you halting on the outside track? This arena is busy enough without having to dodge round you. (Translation: why can’t you move out of the outside lane if you want to drive at 55mph?)

4. Why aren’t we passing left to left? Surely that’s going to lead to a crash?

5. This car in front is jolly slow. Why doesn’t the rider give it a kick or a tap with the whip?

6. This horsebox feels very stiff around corners. Maybe some suppling exercises or gridwork would help?

7. This warm-up ring is very crowded. (Translation: it’s rush hour.)

8. I wonder if my car is going to shy at that paper bag in the hedge? I’d better start using my inside leg and turning his head to keep him on his line…

9. That person in front is a terrible driver. I bet they never passed their riding and road safety test.

10. This car behind me keeps getting too close. Does she want to get kicked? Maybe I should tie a red ribbon to my tow bar.

11. Can I tie my car up here? There are no yellow lines — but there doesn’t seem to be any baler twine attached to the fence…

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12. Someone tall has been riding this car — I need to shorten my stirrups. (Translation: I need to move my seat nearer to the pedals.)

13. I’m going to be late because I took a wrong turning — but hey, at least I wasn’t eliminated…

For all the latest news analysis, competition reports, interviews, features and much more, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, on sale every Thursday.

‘No one should suffer in silence’: eventers discuss their mental health to urge others to speak up

Eventers Matthew Wright and Niall Fergusson have produced a video openly discussing mental health issues in aid of 2019’s Time to Talk Day (7 February).

Both riders say they have “suffered badly” from depression in the past and invited their supporters to send in questions about their own mental health concerns.

“We have both been at the point where we considered taking our own life. We can talk very openly about this together now and it helps,” H&H blogger Matt said. “We want to encourage others to speak out too about their own experiences with mental illness, to help others see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

NB: Please wait for the video below to load. If it doesn’t appear, click here to watch

In support of the initiative from Time to Change — an organisation campaigning to end mental health stigma and discrimination — Matt invited members of his Facebook page to email him questions that he and Niall could discuss.

“I thought it was better to discuss our own experiences based on people’s questions as it would lead to a much broader discussion on different subjects,” he said. “We both found it very emotional reading people’s questions, it was a very brave thing for them to do.”

Matt noted that depression has affected many people within the equestrian industry.

“It’s so easy to look normal on the outside, but be dying inside. To other people looking in, they think that person has a great life so they don’t understand the problem or reason behind it and would never suspect anything,” he said.

“I think if more people talk about it, without judging anybody, then more people will feel there’s always somebody to talk to. Together we have to try to reduce suicide rates and tackle mental illness.”

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“Nobody should suffer in silence,” he added. “We want to encourage other riders to speak out about their own insecurities, confidence issues or any other battles they’ve had and how they’ve overcome it. If we make something seem normal, it will make people feel much more secure in talking about it.”

For all the latest news analysis, competition reports, interviews, features and much more, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, on sale every Thursday.

‘Nothing’s more important than life’: rider’s smear test warning after cancer diagnosis

A rider who was diagnosed with cervical cancer nine months after she had missed a smear test is urging other women to ensure they take up their appointments.

Frances Long had to have a radical hysterectomy in October and all traces of the disease were removed, but she hopes her experience will encourage others to ensure they take up screening appointments.

“There’s always something that seems more important, but when it comes to it, there’s nothing more important than this,” Fran told H&H.

“I had a tumour but didn’t realise until part of it came away. If I’d had my smear test when I was supposed to, it wouldn’t have got to that stage.”

Fran went to her GP, who sent her to A&E, where she was seen by a registrar and a consultant. She was sent home, but within 45 minutes, got a phone call telling her to return to the hospital, where she was given her diagnosis.

“It was quite horrific,” she said. “I had an MRI scan, which picked up a shadow on my bowel so there was concern it had spread. In the end, there wasn’t anything so they decided it was probably caused by the way I was lying, but for a while, that was terrifying.”

Fran’s surgery involved removing not only her reproductive organs but also surrounding tissues and some of her lymph nodes. As the healthy tissue showed no signs of cancer, it was decided she did not need further treatment, although she is having regular check-ups.

She was back on board her event horse Mama Mia III, on whom she also competes in dressage and showjumping, within five weeks, albeit just walking, and returned to competition in a British Dressage class at Keysoe last weekend (19 January).

“She really looked after me,” Hayley said. “She won the class, with over 72%. I wasn’t sure how it would go as I was so excited, I thought she might be, but she held it together for me.

“I think I was crying before I even went down the centre line.”

Hayley hopes to return to eventing by April, if she is strong enough.

But her other priority is to raise awareness of the importance of cervical screening, especially now during cervical cancer prevention week (21 to 29 January).

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The bad news is that horses can suffer from various forms of cancer. The better news is that most cancers…

“Just don’t put it off,” she said. “As riders, we’re such a strong group of people who have these horrific falls, then get back on and do the next class; we think we’re invincible and that nothing will happen to us.

“My horses are my absolute world. I spend hours researching the best feeds for them, if they do so much as look at me differently in the morning the vet is called, they see physio and chiropractors, have all the latest rugs and tack and are pampered beyond belief. They’d never be a day late to see the farrier or for their teeth to be rasped, for their yearly jabs or worming — I just wouldn’t dream of it. But I often think how riders/horse owners push their own health way down their list of priorities. I am definitely one of them.

“But nothing is more important than your life. This has made me really aware of that, and how easily it can be taken away.

“Whatever reason you’ve got for not going for your smear test; if it’s uncomfortable or you’re embarrassed, or you haven’t got time – the possible consequences of not going are so much worse than any reason you could have.”

For all the latest news analysis, competition reports, interviews, features and much more, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, on sale every Thursday.

‘My horse has a rubbed area behind the saddle. Should I be concerned?’ — H&H investigates…

Patches of rubbed hair under the back panels of your horse’s saddle can be more prevalent at this time of year — here’s what you need to know…

saddle rub

It’s not unusual for owners to leave an unclipped area of hair under the saddle to give the horse some protection, particularly if they are thin skinned, but sometimes bald patches appear anyway. This could just be a coat change issue, says Joe Mackinder, a vet with Rainbow Equine Hospital near Malton, as the horse loses its winter coat — but it may also have a more sinister explanation.

“Sometimes the bald patch can be caused by dermatitis. This can be as a result of poor management, for example riding the horse when its coat is wet; there are also some quite nasty forms of staphylococcal dermatitis which cause painful bald patches,” explains Joe.

“It can also be symptomatic of an asymmetry caused by lameness, or even a kissing spine issue. But more commonly it is due to issues with the saddle or other equipment. We recommend that owners with new horses get their saddles checked every six to eight weeks as the horse can change shape a lot and this has an impact on fit,” says Joe.

Georgie Webb is a Society of Master Saddlers qualified saddle fitter based in Yorkshire, and agrees that bald patches beneath the back section of the panel are often an indication there’s a problem with the saddle.

“Saddles are all about balance — if you’re getting a rubbed patch beneath the back part of the panel, it usually means there’s movement at the front, or that the saddle is a little too wide. We will sometimes see clients who have noticed an issue and tried to pad to the back but actually this makes the problem worse,” says Georgie. “Saddles need to be checked regularly and flocking adjusted to prevent this kind of issue. If you’re getting a bald patch on one side but not the other, this can point to asymmetry of the horse, rider or saddle — often, saddle asymmetry is caused by asymmetry of the horse or rider, and proper flocking can rectify this so long as the saddle is symmetrical in every other way.”

In other cases, it’s not the saddle which is the problem but the numnah or pad used beneath it. McTimoney equine chiropractor Dani Paizis says this is one of the first things to rule out when bald patches appear.

“A numnah which is too short can cause this kind of problem, as the saddle applies pressure. Once this is ruled out, I’m looking at three possible problems: rider symmetry, saddle balance and finally musculoskeletal injury.

“If the rider is crooked, riding with uneven stirrups or carrying a back or pelvic injury of their own, it’s unlikely they will be balanced in the saddle. Also, any musculoskeletal injury or imbalance no matter where in the body can cause referral problems affecting lumbar and pelvic balance, which in turn creates uneven stride patterns and affects saddle movement.

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“In my experience, it can be all three causes in play and all three need addressing. If the saddle rubs don’t improve within a few weeks, however, it is important to seek veterinary advice for a thorough investigation, as there could be a serious underlying musculoskeletal problem, such as overriding dorsal spinous processes (kissing spine) or a sacroiliac strain,” says Dani.

For all the latest equestrian news and reports, don’t miss Horse & Hound magazine, out every Thursday

‘My horse saved my life, the charity saved my sanity’: Inspirational rider achieves Wobbleberry dream

CLARE REEVES

Hannah Francis’ legacy has helped an inspirational rider overcome huge challenges to achieve her goal of taking part in a British Eventing competition.

Clare Reeves had had a 20-year gap from horses when she bought her 14.2hh mare, Frankie, in March 2017 — and she believes the mare saved her life.

“I fell in love with her,” Clare told H&H. “From day one she would nuzzle my shoulder — of course they do it when they are looking for treats — but this was always in the same place.”

Clare added one day her shoulder was particularly sore after Frankie’s nudges and she found a lump, which she thought was related to the knock she had taken from the mare, but booked an appointment with her GP to have it checked out.

Her GP referred her to the breast clinic, where a biopsy revealed she had triple negative breast cancer.

“If it wasn’t for Frankie, I would not have found the lump and the cancer would not have been detected early enough — my prognosis would have been very different,” she said, adding the mare has not been interested in her shoulder since the tumour was removed

“I’m very lucky she drew my attention to it, I owe her my life.”

CLARE REEVES

After surgery to remove the lump, Clare went through seven months of chemotherapy. During her treatment she decided she wanted a challenge, so signed up to join the Wobbleberries.

“It had to be something with Frankie because we have such a bond and started this journey together,” she added.

Hannah’s Willberry Wonder Pony Charity granted Clare a wish of 10 lessons with eventer James McIlough, plus a trip to Nick Skelton’s yard.

“He was brilliant and we trained all the way through my chemo, even when I was throwing up over Frankie’s shoulder and had to have someone help me tack up,” she said.

In January 2018, Clare visited Nick’s yard, which she said gave her the extra boost to complete her challenge.

“I never thought I would have the chance to meet anybody like him,” she said. “The riders in his arena were jumping fences that were absolutely huge — he showed me around the yard and just being there, soaking up the atmosphere, meant I came back with this newfound confidence and I felt that I really needed to get a grip over 60cm!”

Clare discovered she was a carrier of the BRCA1 gene and opted for a double mastectomy and hysterectomy to reduce the risk of the cancer returning.

That summer, Clare and Frankie undertook their first unaffiliated one-day-events before heading to Solihull BE80(T)in October, where they completed.

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Clare also raised close to £15,000 in the process, which she split between Willberry and Breast Cancer Care.

“My horse saved my life and the Hannah’s Willberry Wonder Pony Charity saved my sanity,”she said.
Clare is currently cancer-free and continuing to enjoy riding and competing Frankie.

Willberry’s Wishes grants horsey wishes to seriously ill people of all ages, or an immediate family member of someone suffering from a terminal condition and is welcoming applications.

For more information, visit: www.willberrywonderpony.org/pages/willberrys-wishes

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‘Oh God, this is going to hurt’ — the story of one man’s quest to set up his own pack of hounds (and more)

The hunt: Warwickshire

In his new book, Red Rag To A Bull, author Jamie Blackett arrives home from the Army to take over a small family estate on the Solway Firth in Dumfries and Galloway, and finds a rapidly changing countryside.

In a humorous and occasionally moving tale, he describes the return of the native to grapple with the intricacies of farming, conservation and estate management, telling the story of founding a pack of foxhounds and a herd of pedigree beef cattle. Part childhood memoir, part biopic of rural life, readers are transported to a remote and beautiful part of Scotland and acquainted with its wildlife, its people and its customs.

Set over the first two decades of the 21st Century, through the Scottish independence referendum, Brexit and the hunting ban, the result is an enlightened review of the challenges threatening a vulnerable way of life and an emerging philosophy about the directions Scotland, farming and the countryside might take in the brave new world of Brexit.

In this book extract, Jamie is keenly following his pack of hounds on a day’s hunting, when suddenly, disaster strikes…:

Then from the depths of the wood there comes a single, deep, excited note, and then another. Then a breathless pause and several more as other hounds hit on the scent.

‘They’ve found.’ The field goes quiet as we all strain our ears. Paddy is dancing on his toes now, waiting for the off. We edge closer to Piet, the Field Master, so that we can get away in the first echelon.

The scent must be as good as we dared hope. The woods now echo with a riot of noise that goes first this way then that, as it hurtles around the covert like an express train.

Moments later we see hounds tumbling clumsily out of the wood and then back in again. They appear to be heading uphill onto a long bracken bank.

‘Come on, we’ll get round the other side,’ says Piet, as he kicks his horse into action and we speed towards a gap in the wire fence where there is a solid timber hunt jump. Paddy takes it in his stride and I let him have his head, so that he flattens out rhythmically into a fast canter across the springy turf, and I stand in the stirrups, crouched forward to keep my weight off his back. Above us, still in cover, hound music soars and crashes like the 1812 Overture.

Next comes a wall – a tall, solid, unforgiving Galloway dyke made of granite boulders. I check Paddy so that his hocks come underneath him, and we bounce twice before I let him go two strides out. He clears it by a foot and at the top of our flight, in a burst of exuberance, kicks his hind legs up behind him like Nureyev, so that I am nearly pitched out of the saddle. Our blood is up now, as we race away downhill towards the next fence, a low rail down onto a steep bank of bracken and whins.

We need to do a small, neat jump here, so that we can immediately turn right-handed onto a sheep track that runs along the top of the bank. Battling with Paddy on the run in, I shift my weight from side to side to unbalance him and slow him down, but we are still going too fast. I should circle him away from the jump and come back in at a trot, but I hold him, seemingly motionless, as he pauses, then jumps.

We take off like the 11.30 New York flight from Heathrow and go up, and up. Below us the ground falls away with alarming rapidity. Then we are coming down again and I feel him stumble on landing; his head seems to disappear from in front of me, and I am being scraped over the pommel of the saddle and down his neck. The ground rushes up towards me.

‘Oh God, this is going to hurt.’

Darkness.

‘Is he dead?’

‘I don’t like the look of it, he’s not moving.’

‘Has someone gone to catch the horse?’

‘Yes, Malc’s gone.’

Fragments of conversation come and go as if overheard in the street.

‘He’s got a pulse anyway.’

‘Don’t move him, in case he’s broken his back.’

I can’t tell whether this is a dream or whether it is real, and I just can’t wake up.

‘Can you hear me, my love?’ An angelic voice. ‘Can you open your eyes for me.’

I open my eyes and promptly close them again; the world seems confusing and I want to go back to sleep.

‘Listen, Jamie, I want you to wiggle your toes. Can you do that for me?’

Good idea. I wiggle my toes and nod. Thank God, I am not paralysed.

Gradually I come to and my rescuer, fortuitously an off-duty nurse, says, ‘Just lie still, poppet, the ambulance is on its way.’

Soon Malc appears with Paddy. I start scrambling to my feet.

‘No, you are not getting back on, you were out cold for several minutes. You are going straight to hospital,’ says my rescuer.

‘Well, I might as well ride Paddy then,’ ventures Malc, ‘so at least he doesn’t miss out. Can you pass me his hat?’

I told you the Bells are descended from horse thieves.

‘Might as well pass me his flask as well. They will only confiscate it in hospital. And better have his car keys.’

Shameless! Malc and Paddy set off and I go back to sleep again.

The ambulance crew want to know where my hat is.

‘We would have cut the straps on it if you had it, so that you couldn’t wear it again.’

I nod and think of my mother. In the vanity of youth, I had always hunted in a top hat until I got married and then Mum and Sheri had ganged up and forced me to buy a jockey’s crash hat. Maternal instinct is a wonderful thing; I would be dead had they not done so.

When we arrive at the Dumfries Royal Infirmary, the ward sister wants to know what I have had to eat and drink.

I rack my brains.

‘Porridge at about eight, then a few sausage rolls and a slice of fruitcake at elevenish.’

She nods, ‘And to drink?’

‘A couple of glasses of port at about eleven.’ A slight frown plays across her features. ‘Then just the odd swig after that: bramble whisky, cherry brandy, damson vodka, maybe some sloe gin, that sort of thing.’ She looks concerned and scribbles something down on a clipboard.

I have my brain scanned and then I am put to bed and sleep like the dead. Hours later, Malc comes to pick me up. The same ward sister discharges me.

‘Now you are to go straight home and have a good night’s sleep.’ Then her eyes seem to moisten and a gooey maternal look comes over her. ‘And do try and stay off the alcohol, if you can, dear.’

Price: Red Rag To A Bull can be purchased for £20 from Quiller Publishing. It is also available to buy via Amazon.
Published by: Quiller Publishing, 2018

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