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Ah winter. Other people may rave about Christmas and crisp frosty mornings, but the reality for riders tends to be freezing in hacks, struggling to fit in rides with short daylight hours and battling with mud.

Because non-horsey colleagues need a helping hand, we’ve compiled this handy guide for your muggle co-workers to help them understand your winter lingo…

1. It’s really tricky to fit in a ride once the clocks change (translation: I’ll be leaving early at least three days a week until spring).

2. It’s so cold at the yard in the mornings now (translation: please forgive the fact I’ll be arriving at the office with 14 layers on, I’ll go and remove them as soon as I’ve had a coffee).

3. My indoor showjumping show went on until midnight last night (translation: I am quite tired today, please don’t ask me to do anything difficult).

4. There’s so much mud in the field gateway (translation: I forgot my office shoes, so I’ll either be tramping dirt through the office — jodhpurs boots are chic, right? — or padding around in socks today).

5.  I can’t wait for my local show centre’s Christmas show — I’ve been planning my outfit for weeks (translation: please don’t ask me to go away for work that week. I need to finish moulding my tinsel to the shape of my horse’s ears).

6. I am so excited to go to Olympia on the Tuesday night (translation: I’ll be hungover on that Wednesday because I will be spending all my money in the champagne bar).

7. I’m going on a beach holiday! I haven’t booked holiday for anything except for stayaway shows for five years! (translation: does anyone have a plug adaptor I can borrow? And I wonder where my passport is…)

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8. The heater doesn’t work in my car, so could we take yours for that long trip? (translation: my car is a mobile wardrobe and tackroom for muddy, hairy clothing, rugs and numnahs — please don’t embarrass me by asking to get in it).

9. I clipped Silver at the weekend (translation: please don’t worry if little white hairs keep flying out of my clothing today).

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Filed under: Riding Tips

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